Stranger Danger

My sister recently had a talk with my four-year-old nephew Jack about strangers. Here's how it went:

SISTER: Now, Jack, if a stranger says, "Come here, I want to show you something," what do you do?

JACK: I turn around and run!

SISTER: If a stranger says, "Come here, I want to give you some candy," what do you do?

JACK: I turn around and run!

SISTER: If a stranger says, "Come here, I want to show you my puppy," what do you do?

JACK: Oh, I love puppies...

With a Little Luck: A Novel

My good friend Caprice Crane's new book, With a Little Luck, is out today. Yay, Caprice!

It's gotten great reviews:

"Crane is one of the funniest writers of popular fiction around. The dialog (inner and outer) is laugh-out-loud, snort-inducing hilarious . . . Readers will want to cross their fingers and spit while throwing salt over their shoulders if it helps Berry reach her dreams. Highly recommended."

—Library Journal

"Fans of Stacy Ballis and Cara Lockwood will appreciate Crane's effortlessly funny style, which is often attempted in popular fiction but is rarely this well executed...Lighthearted and charmingly honest."

—Booklist

"[A] satisfying romantic comedy...[with] real character growth."

—Kirkus Reviews

And even better blurbs:

"Romantic, poignant and funny—this book is a lucky find for lit fans. Caprice Crane is a nimble and gifted storyteller."

—Diablo Cody, Academy Award-winning screenwriter of Juno

"A hilarious romp that oozes charm and giddy fun. Caprice Crane is a true talent."

—Molly Jong-Fast, author of The Social Climber's Handbook

"Witty, fast-paced, and sheer fun. Caprice Crane is a master of dialogue. Half the time I was reading this book I was smiling, which made me look like a crazy person on the subway."

—Jancee Dunn, author of Don’t You Forget About Me and Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?

"Absolutely charming and hilarious."

—Missy Peregrym, star of the movie Stick It and ABC's Rookie Blue

"With a Little Luck scores in humor, head, and heart. In other words, it’s a perfect trifecta."

—Karyn Bosnak, author of 20 Times a Lady (soon to be the major motion picture What's Your Number?)

(Omg, who is that last fantastic blurber?) (I meant every word of it.)

And most importantly, she has the cutest dog ever (who likes to video chat with Bev):

Anyway, check it out, buy it—it's fantastic!

Captain America

Go see Captain America this weekend! Support our Colin!

I went to the premiere on Tuesday and it was the coolest thing ever. First, the movie is AMAZING and Chris Evans is a superstar. Second, there were so many damn people there it was insane. I have been to movie premieres in New York before and they were nothing like this. I mean, they closed down Hollywood Boulevard. I would've taken photos to show you, but the invite said to leave phones in the car. But here's a photo of me in my cool Captain America 3D glasses:

(Sit down, stop jumping around, it's an awesome picture, I know. And the quality is amazing. It's not grainy or reddish... it's perfect.) (No, it's not.)

(And you can totally see the Captain America logo on the side of the glasses.) (No, you can't.)

Anyway, Captain America is pulling a strong 71% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes right now so GO SEE IT! IT'S FANTASTIC! 

HGTV, LA and Dining Room Tables

I've been watching a lot of HGTV since coming to LA. My favorite shows are House Hunters and House Hunters International. There's also another show I like to watch called For Rent, but only because it makes me angry.

When it comes to apartments/homes, I think living in New York for the past eleven years has made me bitter because there was this whiny broad on For Rent a few nights ago who was looking at a huge place—A HUGE PLACE—and was like, "There's no place for a dining room table..."

B*TCH, YOU'RE LUCKY TO GET A KITCHEN IN NEW YORK.

I hated her.

Now there's some stupid lady on House Hunters who wants a townhouse with a fireplace that she can turn on with a light switch. IT HAS TO BE A LIGHT SWITCH because she doesn't want to bend down and flip a switch on the floor.

WHO DO THESE PEOPLE THINK THEY ARE?

Anyway, I know my LA update is WAY overdue (and truth be told I wrote a long one last week but for some reason it didn't save so I lost the whole thing and I was so angry that I just said, "Ah, f*ck it," and closed the computer instead of rewriting) but to give you a quick update, I AM SO HAPPY HERE. I MEAN, I'M REALLY, REALLY HAPPY. And I think living here and watching HGTV—both of these things combined—has made me realize that New York was just beating me down. I mean, the fireplace lady—yes, she's an idiot. But there's nothing wrong with wanting a dining room table. Why did I get so mad at that lady?

Since being here, at least once a day I ask myself why I have lived in New York for so long. (It's like I had Stockholm Syndrome or something.) CALIFORNIA IS AWESOME. It's like the promised land. It's sunny all the time and there are birds and flowers everywhere. I have space out here. I have a sofa on the patio out here. I HAVE A SOFA OUTSIDE. I haven't seen one rat since I've been here. But hummingbirds? THEY ZIP BY MY HEAD EVERY DAY. I am so happy.

I'm supposed to go back to New York in November, but truth be told, I'm not sure I will.

Jack, My Narcoleptic Nephew Update

Remember when I wrote this post about how my nephew Jack can sleep anywhere?

Well, here's the latest: