Monday
Apr212008
My Children
Posted on 
Apr 21, 2008 at 2:06 AM
Apr 21, 2008 at 2:06 AM Phone conversation last night:
Mark: David and I have names for your children.
Me: What children?
Mark: Your unborn children.
Me: *heavy sigh* What are they?
Mark: Picky and Choosy.
He thinks I'm too finicky when it comes to the men I date, hence naming the children I will never have Picky and Choosy. And you know, maybe he's right, but I have not waited this long to settle.
But because I have a good and somewhat perverse sense of humor, I've decided to make these unborn children real. (In a fictional sense, of course.) So here they are... I've drawn pictures of them for you. Ladies and gentleman, please meet Picky and Choosy, my unborn children:
UPDATE: A chat with Laura about the above picture:
Laura: I love Picky's hair and mouth, but you can't tell she and Choosy are sisters.
Me: Choosy's a boy.
Laura: WHAT? No way. Why is he wearing a blue dress then?
Me: Because he's confused. He was born with unidentifiable sex organs.
Laura: No way.
Me: Yes. And you can't see it in the picture, but Picky has a second head coming out of her back.
Laura: Like a Siamese twin?
Me: Yes. It always backtalks her and makes her really angry.
Laura: They make me afraid to have children.
Reader Comments (18)
At first I thought the pic of Choosy was a childhood photo.
So I'm guessing there's more to this story. Fill me in on IM!!
And where did you register Picky and Choosy? Babies R US? You know. For baby gifts. Didn't you know? You ALWAYS get gifts when you have babies. It's the best part!
Well, since they're unborn and I don't have to get anything to take care of them, I've registered for myself at Bloomingdales.
Hilarious--I love it! And nothing wrong with being picky and choosy when it comes to men!
Um, congratulations?
Thank you!!! I'm THRILLED to have been blessed with such wonderful kids.
After reading this blog I'm glad, SOOOOOOO glad that I've had a vasectomy. I would never want to procreate with a woman with 'ahem' older eggs...
It seems these days when I go out with a woman 35-45, our dinner conversation is constantly being drowned out by her ticking biological clock. And in this age group, the pressure on GUYS to have sex early in the relationship is intense. Sort of a turn about from our teenage years.... And usually the women last until I tell them I had my 'tubes tied.' Then they are gone faster than the wind...
Don't worry Karyn, you can always brangelina Picky and Choosy. Brangelina is a new word for adoption of children from impoverished nations, and yes you heard it here first!
I thought your niece drew that picture.
What did you name Mark's kids?
Faces only a mother could love!
Great word, Frank!
And Anonymous... naming Mark's kids... now this could be fun.
Suggestions, anyone?
Whatever happened with your sister-in-law's baking competition??
I think Mark's kids will have waspy/intellectual names like Cooper or Harrison, or Henry for a boy, and I really have no clue on girl names. Maybe Karyn named after their favorite aunt? :)
Your unborn kids are just great....it looks like it will be SO WORTH THE WAIT!!
I wonder if you could adopt unborn kids.
I can't wait to BABYSIT!!
But I'm charging for 3 since I have to listen to three heads!!
If people get you stuff for Picky and Choosy from Bloomingdales, I will bow down before you. "I'm not worthy"
Nothing wrong with not wanting to settle. And your future kids look fabulous, haha.
Mark's kid's names?
Hello! Beautiful McGorgeousen and Handsome O'Stunnington!
Seriously.
The great thing about those kind of children is you don't have to send them to college, or hear the words "you hate me!" come out of their ungrateful little mouths. lol
I'm reading 'Save Karyn' again this week... you are so silly Mona, I mean Karyn. :)
Your unborn ones are charming, but you're totally not that old and neither are they. And besides, who wants to breed anyway? It's so messy.