Oktoberfest War Wounds
Sep 16, 2007 at 7:39 PM I'm typing this with nine fingers.
My sister and brother-in-law had a big Oktoberfest party last night. While I came out of it fine, I did some damage during clean-up today and ended up in the emergency room.
Here are the girls and me last night...
And here's me today, five stitches, a tetanus shot, and a finger splint later...
Ouch.
Okay, this is what happened. WARNING... if you get grossed out easily, stop reading.
So I was slightly hungover (too much Spaten), standing on a ladder with a pair of scissors in my hand. Not a good thing to do for the klutzy. I was attempting to cut a plastic fastener like this...
...off of a pole. The tie was a bit too thick to be cut with scissors, but I thought if I squeezed them together really hard I could get through it. Holding the scissors in my right hand and the plastic tie in my left, I did just that and squeezed and squeezed and then SNIP! I cut through the tie and removed a chunk of flesh from my finger right above the knuckle in the process.
The wound was pretty gross. My sister pretty much freaked out when she saw it, but I stayed surprisingly calm. My flesh looked like a chicken cutlet and I swear I could see the bone. Blech!!! But it didn't really hurt, it was just gross to look at. After the two of us cleaned it up, we wrapped my finger in gauze and then taped it to an emery board to it to keep it from bending. I then went back to cleaning. I swear. For a good hour, at least. But my finger wouldn't stop bleeding, so we thought it was best to go to the ER to have someone take a look at it just in case.
I ended up getting five stitches and I need to see a plastic surgeon tomorrow. Seriously. My official diagnosis is that I had an "elliptical-shaped soft tissue avulsion that had to be undermined."
Re: the "undermined" part... basically, the ER surgeon had to remove more flesh from inside the wound using a scalpel so he could bring the top edges of it together in a clean manner. So let's say that the wound looked like a "U" from the side. The doctor needed to make it look like a "V" so the top two edges could meet and be stitched without too much flesh between them. Does that make sense?
And re: the plastic surgeon... Because it's such a wide wound, bringing it together caused the skin on the opposite side of my knuckle to bunch up, making my finger looked deformed. The ER doctor said a plastic surgeon might want to make another incision across that side of my knuckle and remove the extra flesh so it matches the other side.
Yuck, yuck, yuck. It's all so gross. But get this... I didn't cry, whine or complain once during this entire ordeal, not even during my tetanus shot. I am so brave.
In case you're wondering, no, I'm not German. (Or I'm barely German—my Grandma was 1/2 German, so I'm 1/8, if anything.) My brother-in-law is German, however, and is going to be making this party an annual event. I'm going to tell everyone that I cut my finger by slamming down my beer stein because I think that's cool.
I'll keep you posted on the plastic surgeon.
Reader Comments (22)
Karyn, YOWCH! I'm so sorry. That sounds awful.
Between your recent appointment with a podiatrist (and the ensuing injection) and this news on your hand injury, I gotta ask: Is this a cry for help?
Was there a hot doctor stitching you up, at least?
Jules
bigpikchur.blogspot.com
Whoa! I think you should stay inside and away from sharp objects, slippery surfaces, blunt edges...
Yeah, on the hot doc?
Oh girl!! The things you get yourself into!!
CUT IT OUT............get it? Cut??
Ok, I will go stitch my mouth shut!
I will go say a prayer for your finger now.......
oh you poor buggar! It is a bit funny though!
Hope your finger is better soon :)
That sounds totally painful!
...still, at least your hair looks really cute in the photo :)
Small mercies!
OMG... if any doctor in the future tells me that any part of me has to be "undermined", I shall promptly faint.
Kudos to you for making a joke-- funny re. the beer stein explanation. Much cooler than fainting.
Hey, look at it this way, maybe you'll end up going to a plastic surgeon who looks like the guys in Nip/Tuck? You could do a LOT worse than that....
take care of that digit!!
omg, Im so sorry to hear that. I hope your finger heal well soon!
Eeeeew Karyn! Really poor you. I have to say that I am very sorry that this happened to you. Though I thought your podiatrist story was worse. Gosh you must be in so much pain.
Hope at least the "Oktoberfest" was fun. The real Oktoberfest is kicking into gear this Saturday and I am so going. Several beers will be had and I will drink one in your honor. Kat from Munich
oh man, this sucks! hopefully you had enough spatenbrau to keep you numb for a while!
I actually chipped my tooth in the spatenbrau a few years back, a hot Italian guy and I were saluting steins, I was smiling too big, and you get the picture. October-fests, danger-fest! live large lady! but be careful!
You are brave! I don't know how I could have made it through all that. I can't even make it through blood work with out getting sick.
Gee, you're in the wars! Look after yourself :)
Hey Karyn. I have to say your skin looks really good, and no wrinkles under the eyes. I know you've said many times before you dont lay out, but what eye cream do you use?
Yeow!! Goodness girl! I think I would have seriously passed out.
Thank you! The second pic was taken with my computer in low light, so you can't totally see my face, but I don't have many eye wrinkles. I have a forehead one, though, which I hate.
I don't use one eye cream, I use whatever I happen to have lying around. My mom got me Murad Essential-C Eye Cream for Christmas, so that's what I'm using right now. And before that I used the L'Oreal anti-puffy one.
I'm honestly beginning to think it's genetics though, b/c my mom is still looking good in her mid-sixties.
Mom
Hey! How on earth do you bend your finger back like that?
If you could bend that way all over, you would have been very popular in school, don't ya think?
haha!
I tell ya Karyn, If I were straight.....that pic of you in your Octoberfest costume would really get me going. LOL
totally cool on the costume. not so cool on the injury. get well soon!
Sully
Yuck! How are you able to type?!?!?
This reminds me of the time I was pitting an avocado and held the half of the avocado in my right hand while I jammed the tip of the knife into the fruit, and missed the fruit, but not my hand...
Ugh. I hate bloody wounds! Hope you're doing better, and hope you asked for pain killers!!! hee hee!
Ouch! Get Well K! *hugs*
That is one Oktoberfest to remember! I am amazed you didn't cry - I had to have a bone marrow biopsy a couple of days ago, they do that sort of thing with a seriously large needle, I cried before the doctor stuck it in. Am a wuss.
Hope your finger gets better soon!
I'm sorry about your injury, but I do have to say you looked incredibly sexy in your costume.
Steve
i just think you are lucky you did not injure your (engagement) ring finger. that would have been a bad omen.
from eeevie
xx