Love, Sex, & My Ex Contest - Runner-Up
Jul 21, 2006 at 1:51 PM 
I'm sorry for being MIA. I'm on a deadline with something that's due today. I'll give you details about it later.
In the meantime, I've received so many entries for the Love, Sex, & My Ex Contest, that I'm going to sprinkle a few runner-ups into the mix. The runner-ups don't get a signed book, but they do get a big thank-you from me for sending in their entry. Here's one to keep you tied over until I announce last week's and this week's winners. (Bad Karyn, falling behind. Bad!)
Nibbling Nick
by DanielleAfter reading the nicknames you've given different guys you've dated, I was reminded of a story. When I was a junior in high school, I dated Nibbling Nick. Nick had a reputation for sleeping with a bunch of different girls, so I knew he had a few weird sexual fetishes, but for some reason I thought that I, a 17-year-old virgin, could handle them.
One night Nick and I were making out when he started nibbling my ear. At first it felt great, of course, but then not so much, as Nick began lightly nibbling my entire face, and then, out of nowhere, BIT me. Seriously, the guy BIT me. Not only that, but he did so so hard that he actually BROKE THE SKIN!
To this day, I still have a scar from Nick. Every morning when I apply my makeup and see it, instead of being angry I can't help but giggle as I remember the way I got it, and remember how freaked out I was that night.
FROM KARYN: War wounds from sex anyone? A friend of mine fractured a bone in her foot after falling off the bed during a wild night in the sack. In order to fix it, she had to visit a REALLY EXPENSIVE orthopedic surgeon who ended up performing a REALLY EXPENSIVE operation. To make it worse, as if spending a ridiculous amount of money fixing it wasn't bad enough, she had to spend two weeks in bed recuperating (unpaid, of course, seeing as though she had to take a leave of absence from work) and six weeks on crutches.
And oh yeah... she and the guy ended up breaking up, so it's not like he was worth it.
Reader Comments (19)
LOL...no sexual wounds for me but I did wind up with a hickey one time in the shape of a stick figure. I had a little person on my boob for weeks.
I had a giant black and blue mark on my inner thigh (right near you know what) from the action my then bf and I were having.
Glad to see you're back. Once, when I was in band camp (nah, not really, it was college), my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I were... okay, we were doing it. I got a major foot cramp and started crying. His roommate had to come in and try to help me (maybe he just wanted to get a sneak peek of me with just a t-shirt on. Wow, talk about sex that'll make your toes curl--this one cramped up my whole foot!
I actually gave myself a concussion once. For my then bfs birthday, I spent days making Jello. I mean masses and masses of Jello, all red, which I then put in the bathtub on the fateful night. I slipped on my way out of the tub and hit my head on the tiles so hard I saw stars…..really, I saw stars just like a cartoon character.
And just in case you are thinking that sex in a bathtub of Jello might be fun…no. It’s cold, really cold, really, really cold and you know what that does to most men. Think Seinfeld’s “shrinkage” episode. If someone tells you that they had great sex in a tub of Jello call them a liar! To make matters worse, red Jello stains skin especially the skin that might sit in it that is lily-white thanks to the lack of sun exposure. I spent days looking like one of those baboons. Loofahing your butt to exfoliate red Jello food colouring isn’t a lot of fun!
LOL!!! I will never use jello in a sex-capade ever! Thanks fo rthe warning Liar Liar.
Did he have to loofah his penis and friends? I can imagine that it would hurt!
I once had a hickey the shape of Italy--on my neck--I was not a happy woman!
Manic Mom,
Does you husband still get foot cramps and do you remind him of the story ever?
Yikes about the jello!
hmmm the only injury I can think of are the hellish leg cramps when hubby goes down below... good lord those hurt so bad....
Glad you're ok Karyn! :)
No loofahing was ever required on the meat and two veg. It was so cold in that tub of jello, they seriously retreated and didn't re-emerge until the jello was safely melted down the drain with hot water.
Come to think of it, I wish I could have washed that boyfriend down the drain too!
Anon 7:29--
I was the one with the foot cramp, and yes, he still can make my toes curl!
Ok, I will admit it. I did a post not to long ago letting everyone know that I bruised my tailbone when I fell out of my 4 foot high bed and landed on my ass!
What I didn't tell them was that I was climbing off my hubs at the time!!
I am still in a huge amount of pain and this happened weeks ago! My hubs really was a pain in the ass!! I am reminded of this fateful butt fall every time I sit for too long.
I am so embarASSed!! Get it? Em BARE ASSED!! Ok, maybe you got it but didn't want it.
Well you assed! I mean asked!
Once, while having sex with my then-boyfriend...how should I put this...I made a sudden lurch forward just as he was making a sudden thrust forward, and my forehead connected with his nose, and broke it!!!
Manic Mom-
Thanks for clarifying. I misread it. Damn dyslexia.
A guy once bit my inner thigh and left a bruise in the shape of his mouth. I think the teeth marks were there a couple of days too! I bruise pretty easily but this hurt!!!
we once fell off our tree house and broke all you can imagine! but the sex was that good! Thank God the kids were at their grannys house, so no one saw any nakedness...*we had to lie about falling down, so we said we had gone to the park to ride our bikes and fell going down a hill! THEY BELIVED US TOO!!!
Another ex and I were finishing up doing our thang and when I pulled out there was a tooting noise, and it sounded like a balloon deflating and flying everywhere.
I am so thrilled that my story made it on here! Thanks, Karyn. Since there are a few comments on hickies-an exboyfriend once gave me one right in front of my ear on the way to a college visit at a Christian University. I got a lot of raised eyebrows that day...
wait - so did they split the bill? or did she foot it?
that doesn't even make sense, but it was just sitting there for the taking.
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