If You Happened to Be in SoHo Yesterday...
Jun 29, 2006 at 3:31 AM I have a totally gross story.
A TOTALLY gross story.
Like if you get grossed out easily, STOP READING.
My dog Beverly was sitting on the couch yesterday, doing her thing. And by "doing her thing" I mean licking her thing. She was cleaning up down there... you know what I'm saying?
When she was done, she looked up at me, all scraggly-faced. Yes, she had done some serious spring cleaning down there and had the wet face to prove it. To show you what I mean, here's a photo of her that was taken on a different day, right after she drank a bunch of water:
She looked pretty much the same way yesterday right after cleaning her thing.
So now flash forward thirty minutes or so. I had to run an errand so I was on Broadway in SoHo, heading south. Bev was with me, sitting in her bag. (There are too many people on the street for her to walk. She gets freaked out.) Here's a photo of her in her bag, taken on a different day. Her head kind of hangs out of it.
Okay, enter a woman. A woman who likes puppies. A LOT. A woman who likes puppies so much, in fact, that she allows them to kiss her on the face.
Everything happened so fast... One second this woman was like, "Oh, you're so cute!" and the next second she was bending down, putting her face up to Beverly's, letting Bev lick her. I didn't even have a chance to pull the bag away.
When the woman eventually stood back up, I just stared at her for a bit with my mouth slightly ajar. I didn't know what to say—I was speechless—but all I was thinking was, You poor thing... you have Yorkie vagina all over your face and you don't even know it.
I told you to stop reading if you get grossed out easily.
There's a reason I'm sharing this story with you. There's a lesson here. In fact, this post should be required reading in schools all across America. This post should be published on page one of The New York Times.
DON'T EVER LET A STRANGE DOG LICK YOU ON THE FACE.
I don't care how cute it is.
It may have recently licked its vagina.
To the woman in SoHo yesterday who became intimate with my Yorkie (you were walking on the east side of Broadway, heading north toward Houston around 6pm), if you're reading this, the next time you feel inclined to walk up to a strange dog and let it lick your face, you might want to ask the owner if it's okay first. I would've said no.
UPDATE: This post was linked on Gawker. Thanks!
Reader Comments (14)
You know...I think about that with my own dogs when they feel the need to lick it...but I don't think I've ever really thought about other dogs. Come to think of it...I wonder how many different doggie vagina/penis germs have been on my face? Could this be the cause of my adult acne?
Anyway...after reading this I will surely be more careful when I see cute dogs around. Bev sure is adorable though!
I dont like vagina on a good day (just a personal preference), let alone doggie vagina, and yes I am careful where I let my dog lick. After all the places her nose has been, (nyc streets) eww no thanks.
you crack me up. I am one of those people who love all dogs and usually don't mind if a dog gives me kisses... But I ALWAYS ask the owner before I even touch the dog... because the owner may know something I don't.
My dog NEVER gives kisses. He's stingy. So I don't ever have to worry about doggy penis germs on my face. LOL In fact, he turns his head the other way as if to say, "kisses, i don't give no stinkin kisses!" LOL
I laughed out loud on this one. (good thing your dog wasn't here or I would have gotten doggie vagina in my mouth)
YUCK YUCK YUCK!!
That poor lady doesn't even know what happened. So sad.
But look at Bev.....how can you not just love her to bits!
Ok, next time don't show the pictures. I am going to have nightmares of that wet doggie face attacking me now!
Yuck, but still somehow Bev seems so cute. Great post by the way, excellent lesson for all!
_nicole
I am NOT easily grossed out but seriously, my noodles that I was just tucking into - not looking quite so great! I must say I am a definate "Dogs-must-not-kiss-me" sort of person which I think was bought on by the fact our patterdale terrier considers Sheeps poo something of a treat!! And she has a face that virtually say "As if I would!" But she does!
that is so not a gross story it is actually really funny, the woman deserved what she got for letting a strange dog lick her face. I don't like dogs licking my face that I know cause you can never keep track of where there tongues have been, let alone allowing a dog you don't know lick you. Your dog is a cutie, i wouldn't mind cuddling with it, but I would have to interview you first to find out if she has recently licked anything I should be aware of or if you have brushed her teeth in the last few minutes.
What's the big deal? You said 30 minutes or so had passed. LOL
found this through gawker. this is going to sound very high-school biology, but dogs have antibiotics in their saliva. so don't feel too bad.
That is possibly the most gross story I've read.
I'm speechless.....or blogless as the case may be.
Then think about cats and their ability to reach anywhere on their body... An I do mean EVERYWHERE!
eeewww. Bev is one cute puppy but we all know puppies (and cats) love to clean down there. Serves this woman right, hoped she learned her lesson!
by the way, i am that "anonymous" on top, i forgot i don't have a blogger account!
god i wish that i had a bit of the fun in your life. you know karyn, crazy stuff seems to happen to you.
crazy, but oh so good : )
x